Let’s picture the usual morning. Your alarm goes on. You feel unhappy, unmotivated, and low energy. You desperately want to change something in your life but it seems impossible. You see others changing their careers completely, divorcing and then happily remarrying, moving to live abroad but you somehow live an unhappy life, year after year hoping for some changes but unable to change anything.
For a person who is not in that place, this description may look like an exaggeration, but those who know – know – that feeling stuck and seeing no way out may be one of the most dreadful feelings in life.
And yet, we are often reluctant to change. Why is it so? You may think that it is your particularly difficult circumstances that prevent you from moving forward, but I would say that external circumstances don’t matter! Being a life strategist and helping people overcome all kinds of external obstacles, I am 100% confident that we are all biologically wired to fear changes and lean towards familiarity, however, some of us embrace changes anyway while others, just freeze and accept their “fate‘. Why it is so? It turns out that those who can implement changes and transform their lives have addressed these 3 internal issues.
What are these issues?
Feeling powerless
The first and main reason why people don’t change, even when they want to, is because they feel powerless. The underlying causes for feeling this way are plenty: from childhood trauma to learned helplessness, from existent injustice to past failures. No matter what particular obstacles right now are blocking your path to a better life: be it financial difficulties or abusive relationships – you maintain your status quo because you see your obstacles as big and unmovable and yourself as small and powerless. In addition, you likely already tried to do something about your situation in the past but weren’t successful and this weighs you down even more.
Feeling Powerless, feeling that you have none or very little agency in your life is also one of the main contributors to anxiety, and depression which in turn makes you scared and unmotivated which adds to an already overwhelming sense of helplessness and hopelessness… The longer you find yourself in this state the less powerful you feel and therefore the less likely you will take any action.
But do not despair – Powerlessness is a long-researched field in psychology and there are well-defined actionable steps that you can take to overcome this situation, steps that without a doubt will help you to return yourself the sense of agency to feel empowered and to be able to take steps that transform your life. Sign in here and get a practical 3-step proccess that you can implement straight away and feel immediately better and ready to take action to improve your life.
Lacking personalised vision
The second reason why you haven’t changed your life yet is that you almost certainly lack a personalised vision for your life. Yes, you may be, like many others, imagining some snippets of that perfect life – maybe you even have your vision board with that perfect beach house or a car, luxury lifestyle or perfect body goals, but the problem is that you are absent from this picture!
All these snippets are generic, completely disconnected from who you are, your natural inclinations, skills, gifts, and ambitions. It is disconnected from your path and your purpose if you wish. And this is why the picture of a beach house will remain just a picture of a beautiful but generic beach. Your brain cannot compute a path from where you are to that fantasy world of yours.
To have a personalised vision you first and foremost must picture yourself in new, desirable circumstances, not a material pile of stuff! Note, nothing wrong with material success, I am all in for us living the most comfortable life we aspire to, but first is you, the hero of your own story should be given the right attention in your personalised plan. If you follow the right plan that aligns with your skills, your personality, your natural inclinations, and past experiences; the plan that helps you to be your highest self, the plan that brings some benefits to other humans – your success is guaranteed! And your financial goals will be achieved easily and in the background!
However, for this to be an easy ride you must understand yourself. There are a million ways to live life, to make money, to build relationships, but from that multitude, there are only a few paths that are suited for you, paths that will keep you motivated internally, paths that you will be proud to walk. How well do you know yourself? If you want to learn how to question your inner self and how to choose the right path when in doubt – take this masterclass and see for yourself how the Personalised Life Vision changes your inner motivation and the ability to take action.
Having low energy
And the third reason why you struggle to change your life is because you have a low energy.
Let me explain, feeling stuck and unhappy is a very draining feeling. A variety of psychological and physiological factors contribute to that state. Without diving into too many details, in short, feeling stuck is a typical chronic stress scenario.
And while chronic stress is a complex beast there there are a few features of chronic stress that you need to know about. These features hold you prisoner of your situation. First, being chronically stressed makes you feel tired, – you feel exhausted to do anything at all, let alone change your life.
The second feature of chronic stress is the fact that when you are stressed you have tunnel vision. During stress you have minimal access to your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that is responsible for thinking, planning, and coming up with creative solutions. So you see how it is far from ideal to be stressed when you want to change your life. Moreover, chronic stress if left untreated is a downhill ride. The more you stay in this state the more tired you feel and your problems seem more grave, more unsolvable.
The solution is to work with your energy from the get-go. Before everything else, before addressing the feeling of being powerless, before building your personalised vision, before attempting any changes at all you must know how to Restore Your Energy. Knowing how to manage your energy is the basis of human well-being! And note, that your daily energy balance goes far beyond your good night’s sleep. I even say that it is the right energy balance that would guarantee a good night’s sleep. Try it and see how your tiredness and overwhelm goes away, how you start to see the way forward more clearly and how you start to come up with new, creative solutions to your seemingly unsolvable problems! It is all doable, you just need to learn how! Find out more here.
OK, now that we understand why it seems so difficult to change your life, we can address these points one by one and build a path forward for your life transformation. Do you want to meet others who are doing exactly that – breaking free from unhappiness and building the life of their dreams? Join my Patreon and get support, tools and the best community to accompany you in your life transformation!
Follow your bliss!
Nadya
